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day 70: hippity hop

April 12, 2011

As much as I hate to admit it, most of my days feel like a full-tilt sprint.

I approach them early-early, head bowed and braced against the wind, and I bear down relentlessly until after dinner.  Nine o’clock finds me practically comatose.  After reading approximately two pages of what promises to be a riveting book (currently, The Book Thief by Markus Zusak), I am asleep.

I am not, as it turns out, a very good sprinter.

While my children are at preschool, I work at my other job.  Because of this, I’ve rarely been able to volunteer my time like some parents, choosing instead to help out via donations of scrapbooking paper and semi-homemade, semi-delicious baked goods.

I didn’t think my kids paid this circumstance any attention until Day 70, when my four year-old asked, “Mommy, when are you going to teach my class?”  I was confused for a moment, wondering what promise I’d made and then forgotten, so he became insistent.  “At school. When are you going to come teach us?  Like Cameron’s mom did when Ms. C was sick?”

Ohhhh.  He was asking when was I going to serve as a volunteer substitute teacher.  Ohhhh.

My explanation sounded weak even to me.  Telling my son that Mommy has a job (which he knows) and works while he is at school (which he also knows) doesn’t fully address his question.  What I think he was really asking was, “Will you let me show you what the world looks like when you are not around?” What response could I offer him — the same boy who, in four years or six, will beg me to drop him off a block from the soccer field lest I embarrass him — other than, “Yes, please?”

So, my gift on Day 70 was an email volunteering to help out at Thursday’s preschool Easter egg hunt.  I won’t get to dress up like this:

but I will have the opportunity to hide treasure-filled plastic eggs from expectant four year-olds.  My full-throttle daily dash will decelerate to the languid pace of preschoolers (“Oh, look!  There’s an egg — wowwww!  A ladybug!  Let’s see what she does if we give her a leaf…”) and, just maybe, Thursday night will find me…  different.  Less depleted.  More soothed than sucked-dry.  Able to read at least ten pages of my book before passing out.

I’ll let you know.

Until then, I hope you take it easy.  Thanks, as always, for showing up.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 12, 2011 7:58 am

    This is an awful position to be in..and I know it well…I take days off my work to get involved in my daughters school…i feel so guilty…great post..ELiza Keating

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