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day 74: friday fail

April 16, 2011

True confessions of miserable failure from project “a gift a day:”

  1. Remember  Day 71’s gift– the offer to watch K’s children for her while she did something enjoyable for herself?  Well, when presented with this proposal on Day 74, K very politely declined.  Perhaps my over-the-top ogling of her plump baby was to blame (did she have visions of me secreting her infant daughter away to some compound in Montana, never to be heard from again?) but, whatever the reason, she offered a nice “Thanks, but no thanks” in response to my offer.  Doh.
  2. Sub-project “Stop Feeding My Children Nutritionally-Bereft Crap” (Day 62) took a turn for the bad on Day 74.  For the past ten-ish days, the kids’ diets have been vastly improved.  They’ve snacked on nuts and fruit instead of Goldfish and pretzels.  They enjoyed sugar snap peas without complaint and choked down grape tomatoes amid indignant protestation.  The renewed attention I’ve paid to their meals has made me feel, well, proud.  Then, on Day 74 I received a text from a friend.  I responded with, “Will check in l8r.  At Chikfila with kids.”  The retort from my friend was immediate and accusatory: “You consider that healthy eating?  Be sure to get them milkshakes for calcium while you’re at it!” (emphasis mine).  “Doh,” again.  And, no, I don’t consider Chik Fil A healthy.  On Day 74, I guess I didn’t consider Chik Fil A at all.  Because we have gotten into the habit of meeting other families there for lunch on Fridays, I drove to the restaurant practically on autopilot (a separate issue to be addressed at another time).  While the children ate fruit salad instead of fries and did not (thank you very much) get their calcium from milkshakes, they did wolf down chicken nuggets drenched in ketchup and drink chocolate milk.  I didn’t feed them Liz Lemon’s favorite Cheesy Blasters, but I didn’t feed them well.  Just keeping it real.  I’ll do better today.

3.  In a moment of weakness, I bought myself a clutch from the Pleated Poppy a couple of weeks ago.  It is adorable and extremely well-made, but ridiculously gratuitous.  My closet still brims with more things than I need, so I’m embarrassed to have bought something new.  “Buyer’s remorse” doesn’t accurately describe my feelings.  I think it’s more like, “Accessory-indulger’s guilt.”  Triple “Doh.”  A thousand times “Doh.”

So, after sharing my litany of failures with you this morning, let’s move on from open confession to  Day 74’s gift, shall we?  I’ve given away an assortment of scarves and a handbag during this project, but the deafening silence with which my other giveaways have been met leads me to believe that many of you also want to clear your lives of extra stuff.  Considering both this assumption and the healthy array of purses and shoes in my closet gave me the idea for Day 74’s gift:

I’ll consign my things and donate the proceeds to the Durham Crisis Response Center.  An organization aimed at ending domestic and sexual violence through advocacy, education, support, and prevention, the DCRC is observing Sexual Assault Awareness Month in April.  Now seems a fitting time to offer this donation to a group doing formidable work.  I’ll keep you informed of the status of sub-project “Sell and Donate.”

Today, I’ll embrace Samuel Beckett’s advice: “Try again.  Fail again.  Fail better.”  I wish for you the persistence to pursue better failures.  Thanks so much for showing up.

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